2 years on ........................ 2nd November 2011

Mummy here we are at the second anniversary of your passing – and how strange it still feels without you. I am in a better place right now than I was before but life still isn’t the same. I miss our chats and your “sound” advice which maybe wasn’t what I always wanted to hear but you were right just the same. I sometimes find myself thinking when something happens be it good or bad “oh I must remember to tell that to Mummy” or “Mummy will tell me what to do here” and then I remember that I can’t just pick up the phone or save it for my after-work visits to tell you. However now being in that “better place” I can now feel your love surround me and feel you are with me in so many places. At the start I used to be able only to talk to you or feel you close to me at the graveside cause that was where I was last with you or to your photo beside my bed because I could see you but now on sleepless nights (which are many) I talk to you in my head and it helps cause I know you are listening and after I talk to you I get a sense of calm and before long I drift off to sleep. Sometimes too I even ask you to help me get to sleep and sure enough before long it happens. And sometimes I awaken from a sleep to hear you call me and it’s all so clear its as if you are in the room – which I hope you are. Your memory brought a smile to my face a couple of weeks ago when I was in Ballymena on Saturday morning – the bell ringers at the local church started their bell-ringing practice and I remembered that when you and I used to shop on a Saturday morning there was only so much of it you could bear before you would say “child dear wouldn’t that bell ringing put your head away”. It made me smile because I could hear your voice and those same words so clearly in my head – and yes I still agree with you on that one it would “put your head away”!! So my lovely Mummy another year passes and my memories of you are still everlasting and I thank God for them and I thank God for the length of time I had you with me and for your love which knew no bounds. My love as always Colleenx